Dear sister, just to say I love you

‘You can choose first’, my sister would say.

My sister in Busan, South Korea. 

‘You can go first.’

‘Okay, you can have them.’

‘You can wear this one, I will wear something else.’

‘Chocolates in the first pocket of my bag, some colleagues brought it when they got back from some training.’

‘Don't worry, I will go with you.’

‘I will wait for you, come when you are done.’

‘I don’t worry about you, I know you are smart, you are capable of doing anything.’

‘We have very high expectations from you, don't let us down.’

‘You can do it, you are the brightest, little one.’

‘You are an amazing writer. Of all the writers, I like your writings the best, and it’s not because you are my sister.’ 

‘You are our family’s asset, our little princess, I would give you all I can, you deserve all the luxury in the world.’

'The world is mean at times, but everything falls back to its place once the Tsunami is over. I have been there, and I promise you there is a beautiful valley behind this perilous mountain, there is a beautiful sky after every rain.’

‘You shouldn’t let the bad of other people affect you. They bring in so much negative energies, ignore them. Ignore them; they aren’t even worth your attention. Ignore them; it feels good.’

‘I don’t want you to go through what I have been through.’

‘I hate him for putting you through this, let’s call him an asshole.’

‘More chocolates, I didn’t eat, I brought them for you since you like them more than I do.’

‘You are my best friend.’

‘You shouldn’t talk bad about others like that. What did mommy tell us about ten other people talking about us at our back when we talk of one?’

‘Watch what you speak, I know you don’t mean to but you do sound rude.’

‘Haven’t I always listened to you? Today listen to me and go Dzongkha movie watching with me?’

‘I wish I could fit you into my trolley and take you with me.’

‘You are a brave girl, I know you will be just fine without me. Stay well; I will be back before you even know it.’

‘I bought this, it’s the latest trend in here. I got one for you too.’

‘I bought this for myself, do you want one too?’

‘I bought this, do you like it? I would have bought for you too but it’s very expensive, I will use it while I am here and you can have it when I get there, okay?’

‘I saw so many cute stuff, I wanted to get them all for you.’

‘All the beautiful places I visit, how I dearly wish you could see them too.’

‘I play your Smule videos when I miss you, you sing so well.’

‘I wish you were here.’

‘I really thought of saving some sum this time, but I finished them all already.’

A feminine that she is, she won't choose batman :)

‘Blessed’ would only half describe what I am to have my sister as my sister. My sister has always put me before herself. My wants always before hers. My desires before hers. My choices before hers. She has made uncountable sacrifices just so I get what I want, just so my wishes are fulfilled, and just so I am happy. She has always supported me in what I did, always appreciated my works and encouraged me to do better, showered me with the best advices, and has always protected me. She has always been more than a sister to me. She has pampered me so much, I am spoilt. Now, I think when she has a baby of her own, I will be the jealous older sibling.

She has been places. A lot of places :)

 The things she has done for me, no one ever has, no one ever will. She has bought me things she won’t buy for herself. Whenever she travels, which she does a lot, she would get me the maximum gifts, she has always spent the most on me, and I pray this trend never ceases :P  
She has waited for me in her car, outside my office for hours every single day ever since I started working. In the chilly winters and when it would get dark by 5, and her office would get over by 4 but mine won't, she would still wait. 
During my first year into job, I was asked to go to various offices, offices I wouldn’t just reach on bare foot. Land commission offices to Thromdue offices, to submit letters, to submit A3 print-out bulky drawings (well, thinking about it, it’s not even my job? But it’s all right, I got dignity of labour). What is sad is, no one even told this just-into-job girl that we get office vehicles for official works. So my sister (who herself would be so caught up in her office work) would pity me and take out time to drop me to all those offices and back. Later I learned, if I don’t speak up, no one’s gonna hear me, if I don’t ask help, I ain’t getting any, but I still don’t get what it takes for some people to be a little kinder, to be a little soft spoken?  

The  Three Generation Adda Rachu Team

 (that's why we were least concerned with 

the compulsory adda rachu thing :P) 

My sister would be as wise as 90, when it comes to giving advises. It is as if she has been through everything, and with experience delivers the best advises. She knows how to completely calm a person. She would preach almost like Master Shifu, something close to ‘Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace’, but ironically she herself has a highly reactive temper. Or rather an overly sensitive heart and nippy tear glands :P

My sister has always been my finest mentor. She taught me everything from shaving my legs to using make ups, from Zendori to Dr. Jart+, from ponds to oriental princess to innisfree to etude house to Baba Ram Dev’s patanjali? LOL. 

Okay we do look alike (only when you are pretty :P)

She taught me how to drive. This she started in 2012 and succeeded in 2016. Thank god  for her Masters, I finally got a driving licence. It’s not that I am or was a slow learner. I learned pretty much in a day. The thing is both of us were scaredy cats, so I took a lot of time getting confident on the highway, and more getting my lazy ass out there. My first driving practice on the highway ended up in chaos. That morning we hit the road at around 6:30 (6:30 AM is quite a big deal for both of us), and as I started driving, she started panicking, ‘No..no..no..not like that and no no no not like this and..’. So after driving some stretch, I didn’t want to drive. I was pissed at her and myself more. But she was more pissed for I think, not utilizing her otherwise sleeping hours well. She asked me to drive us back home since we have already started, but I didn’t. I got stiff and she thought I WOULDN’T but I just COULDN’T drive anymore. And in the middle of the highway, somewhere near Changbangdu, she ringed up mommy and cried saying I won’t listen when she was only teaching me. Mommy attained to make her drive us back, after swearing never to teach me again. I, then called up mommy and cried. Didi and I didn’t talk, we got dressed for office and I hurried to get out of home before her to catch a cab. I was walking when she after-ed me and stopped her car and said “Hop in, we won't talk, I will just drop you”. That was on Monday. Thursday, she asked me if I wanna go driving practice again :)

Apart from this one time, after every fight, it always has to be me to force my little finger to join with hers to make 'Milee' (as in peace). Other times, we would text each other our apologies and justifications and never to repeat again promises. We are as much as lovers, when we have pretty fat bank account balances, we like to surprise each other with not-for-any-occasion gifts, or make-up gifts after fights, or “I bought this, but you can use it as well” gifts. 

'Everything that I am and I have today, as much as I owe Apa and Mommy, I owe them to you. Thank you. For everything.’

Despite her tiny physique, she is one hell of an independent lady, she can handle anything on her own. She is wise and farsighted, focused and hardworking, so kind and giving. She is everything I would want to become. She has a heart of gold. I am not saying this because she is my sister, it's just a fact I cannot deny. She would be there sympathizing and pitying everyone. She helps as much people as she can. Every year she buys school dresses for at least five underprivileged school students. I know she would have done more if only she could. As her shadow befell, I also contribute a little :)

Somewhere in Switzerland in 2014.

She buys and reads a lot of books, and her writings has always been of high calibre. While preparing for my class XI/ XII English examinations, I would read her class IX/ X English exam answer sheets. She blogs at www.letsgrowtogether86.blogspot.com. She also writes her diary every day without failure. She is very good with numbers, she can easily remember phone numbers and birthdays. Also she is very calculative, she keeps track of how she spends every penny, but spends them anyway :P When she travels, so she won’t forget, she lists down people for whom she has to buy gifts. And its pages and pages of names.

She is a fine joker too. When she was at the Sherubtse College, she used to wear meto kiras of various designs and multi-colored dresses. Haha. Now all she wears is black or something close to black. But as if jinxed, except for the meto kiras, I liked whatever she wore, including the rainbow striped sweater, which she later gave me because I said I liked it, but I didn’t wear. I think I had some sense of fashion then? :P

Some happy faces there :)

She is someone who won’t read someone else’s personal diary even if it's open right in front of her eyes no matter how appealing. Someone we can trust our unlocked phones with. Someone who respects other’s privacy and someone who gives but also needs a hell lot of space. She talks less, even when it's with family, and hates repeating herself over again. For instance, she is narrating an incident, she gives details to just one or two of us, say to mommy and I, and to others her summarized versions. So, mostly I end up repeating her whole story to every other person including mommy, because Mommy won’t get it and she won’t ask didi to repeat. Mommy is scared of her. Or wait. A lot of people are scared of her, elders included. Apa (read about him on Dear Apa) and Mommy (I have so much to write about you I cannot start) would scold me, but not her. Angay would make me work, but not her. Little cousins would talk back to me, but cry when I bring up her name. Even Acho seldom talks back to her. Peculiar for someone who won’t even raise her voice to ask for food. She doesn’t do anything I am telling you. I don’t think she ever hit a kid even accidentally. I think she is just a very powerful lady :) BTW by scared I don’t mean we shiver at the sight of her, we just respect her, so much so we can’t and we don’t take advantage of her goodness. 

I miss you much

Besides, we don’t wanna test her tolerance level :) But there are people. Many people take advantage of her kindness. Just because she would give, they ask too much. Many take advantage of her softness, just because she won’t talk back, and people would say whatever they want, not considering how much it would hurt her? She tolerates them all, chews those hurtful words, forgives them and tries real hard to see the good in them, again and again and again just for the sake of keeping the relationship, until she has really had enough, until she has chewed so much her teeth have fallen, until her heart can hold no more, and then she ignores, completely ignores. People would come back to her, but she won't just hear them anymore. I have seen this, I have seen her do these to a few, and believe me there really are devils wearing human masks out there.

‘Now that I think of it, there is so much you have done for me. So much you have sacrificed for my sake. So much to be thankful for. You have always fulfilled all of my wishes, I am thinking you must be a shooting star. Dear sister, I just want you to know that I love you.’

Lhamo Part 3, 4 & 5

Destiny has my endless encounter and acquaintances with the Lhamos. So, today I bring to you, Denkar Lhamo, Seldon Lhamo and Phub Zam Lhamo. Kidding. They don’t have the Lhamo Second& third names. But I would like to refer them as Lhamos for a Malaysian lady once told me how Bhutanese refer beauties as Lhamos. I being an aboriginal Bhutanese didn’t know this until a foreigner? Or did someone bluff her hard? Like someone did about Mebar Tsho once being Guru Rimpochoe’s swimming pool? Anyway if that be true, half the Western and Northern Bhutanese women be the beauties.

Second Year. Webcam Selfie :P

2008: There were 10 of us from Drukgyel HSS going to the College of Science and Technology (CST), 4 were girls. Denkar, Seldon, Sonam Deki Tshering and I. Pema Lhamo (read about her in Lhamo Part-1) suggested I be roommates with Seday. ‘Sonam Deki and you are sort of “has to do what one thinks” kinds so won’t make compatible roommates’, she said. And she didn’t know much about Denka to comment. But once we reached college, we realized all our roommates were already decided by the college. And they had made it alphabetically, so Seday and Sonam Deki were the assigned roommates.  Lucky them, we cheered! I was allocated a room with Wangmo and Denka with Yangchen Dema. I don’t know how “D” and "Y" would come in line in any order but it’s in an engineering college, so maybe their English can be excused?

Everything about the college was queer and unpleasant, many new faces but fewer smiles. No one to be blamed though. Everything and everyone was new and just adjusting. Family had left, a weeping mommy behind in the car flooding with advises and blessings, now I was on my very own, it was heart-wrenching, already depressing. 

We unpacked our belongings in our own rooms. When I went to see Denka in her room, Yangchen Dema was reading something, curled up on her bed, skinny as a stick, dressed in a red t-shirt and a half-kira, and looking already like an oldie. She murmured something to herself and left the room. Back to my room, my roommate said she is shifting to another room with her school friend. I wasn’t aware we could do that, but as she said that I already got excited (Maan mey ladoo phuta! LOL), I wanted to stay with Denka. First night at the new college, we had noodles with ezay for dinner in Seday and Sonam Deki’s room, then Denka and I returned to ours. But I didn’t go to my room, I slept with Denka that night, I still thought I would fall off the bed if I slept towards the edge, she let me sleep in the corner :)

Next day, we had some hard time negotiating with Yangchen Dema about changing roommates, but when she had agreed, my roommate had changed her mind, she was staying. Bummer! Yangchen wasn’t moving out of her room under any cost (although we didn’t offer her any :P), so Denka and Wangmo had to move out. Hence, Denka and I became roomies.  Later, when Yangchen and I became good friends (I shall write about you some day) I learned there was ceiling leakage in her room and water would drip inside when it rained. I called it karma. Haha.

Ever since, Denka and I spend all of our time together. She was actually my school classmate for many years but we had hardly talked to each other until college. She has always been that shy and simple girl everyone would feel comfortable with. So humble, she doesn’t have an opinion of her own, she goes yes with our yes and no with our no. She never raises her wants before ours. She would always underestimate herself and leave everything for her fate to take care. It would suffocate me to be her. But that is Denka, she finds happiness in other’s happiness and her sacrifices. She is warm, she is family :)

Denka is warm. She is family :)

During college, Denka would be on her study table almost 24x7, so people visiting our room and seeing her so would go, Gosh! How much is she studying?, sounding almost jealous. But she would see no foul play in that, she is naive like that. And the truth is she would be doing everything on her study table, eating, sleeping, talking, and even watching movies.

When other girls changed their roommates almost every semester, I believe Denka and I were the only ones who stuck with one roommate for all the four years. ‘I know it’s all because of you Denka, I won’t have survived college if not for you’.

Seday and Denka 

Second semester, and Seday and Sonam Deki weren’t roommates anymore. Nothing had happened between them, some other girls wanted to switch rooms and I don’t know how but they were dragged in. Seday next shared her room with Pema Choki, and for the remaining years at college. Seday was one hell of a moody person then, this moment she would be white, the other moment she would go black and red and blue and violet and green and pink and yellow. But she is easy, or maybe we don’t give much damn to her opinions? :P She is someone we can play pranks on and force into doing things our way, but again, she wasn’t this easy all the time. When it was her heart-aching days at the college, period! We would literally drag her for the jam sessions and she still won’t go. She would be such a nag; she won’t go with us to the town, when it was too sunny or dusty. When is Phuentsholing not sunny or dusty? Now she works at PHPA, takes leave and travels all the dusty road and without complains, just to get here for our gatherings. People do change with maturity, she did so well :)

Seday doesn’t bad mouth about anyone, never did. She would either say the good about someone or mostly choose not to say anything at all. Also, she can be a Goblin working for the Gringotts bank when it comes to secret keeping. We can confide anything and everything in her and know it’s safe.

Seday soon grew closer to Phub Zam, her practical classes mate and introduced her to our group. We were now four. We secretly named ourselves ‘the F4’. I don’t remember if it was after the Korean Drama ‘Boys over flower’ or the ‘Fantastic Four’ film? Whichever, still cheesy :P 

F4 :P During our college trip to Kolkota

Phub Zam and her ex-pup

Phub Zam is mysterious, I can’t still tell anything about her for sure :P But she definitely is the shoulder we need to lean our sadness on. We can always be certain she would be there for us when we need a hand. She also is a very good console-r, she best knows what to say to make us feel better when we are down. I didn’t realize how much of a good person she is until we got really close, that’s when college was almost over. Many a times, I did give her my sharp tongues, but she always forgave me saying I’m just a kid. And no matter what, she always treated me well, she always stuck around. And today, I am grateful she did that. I know she has already forgiven me for I know how much of a big heart she has, (So big so as to give away her aquarium of gold fish and her Pomeranian puppy. ‘I really would have liked to pet them too, but you didn’t consider me. I will take these as your comeback for my being hard on you. We are equal now, okay?’). 

These are the people I shared the best days of my life with, the people with whom I experienced my so many first-times. I fought with a guy, well technically for Denka, because she should have been the one fighting, she was the one who threw water from our balcony and arose the guy’s anger :P. Seday now shares her office with him. Damn! LOL

2016, during our hike to Tango&Chari 

Some mornings, when Seday and Phub Zam would already start walking from the hostel to the class, Denka and I would be just waking up. But guess who would make it to the class earlier? Right! Denka and I :P Towards the evening, the four of us  would visit the Kharbandi Goenpa together, but the time the dainty two would take walking, Denka and I would run and come back and run and come back and still be ahead. Very slow and stylish walkers I should say :P.

The most dreaded time in college were the Semester-end Examination and the Class test times. Well whose wasn't? But while some classmates were super punctual and some didn’t care, we were the middlers. We, we don’t know what we did but as the class test dates approached and when others were ready to take them, we howled asking to postpone the tests, as if postponed tests meant cancelled tests. And one test we did postpone after requesting the lecturer who favouritised Phub Zam :P The test morning, because some mates created mountains out of mole hills, we had a class fight, which I would like to think my team won because the test got postponed anyway.

My room slip-ons, HA mistook for soft toys :P

One time, when Phub Zam got sick, we had a class test the next day. We were studying when she came to our room and went flat on the bed getting short of breathes. We rushed to get the College HA. When the HA entered, first thing he did was pick up my slip-ons and throw them on the bed, taking them for soft toys. He then examined the sick and referred her to the Phuentsholing General Hospital. Although she needed just one companion, Denka and I asked to go too, mostly because we didn’t want to take the class test the next day. It was the college rule that the sick and her companions would be excused from the test and would be allowed to sit for it at a later period. We smartly skipped the test :P We still laugh to this incident while Phub Zam swears on her brute friends.

One morning assembly, when the Semester-end Examination was nearing, our Dean for Academic Affairs, Om Kafley sir advised us to rather sleep during our free time for that would give our body and mind rest and we would be able to study better, and to stick “Do not Disturb” notes on our doors to avoid unwanted disturbances. I believe the whole college took that advice way too seriously, most of the time, even during day hours everyone in the hostel would be either sleeping or just waking up from their naps, rubbing their eyes to say how sincerely they are following Kafley sir’s advice. Also Denka and I pasted a note on our door, well I did but with Denka’s consent, especially to keep away the chatters of Seday and Phub Zam. Because both of them had different roommates, we didn’t go to their rooms much, they came to ours. Seday is a very fast studier (if there is a word like this :P), she would finish revising twice or thrice when Denka and I would be only half way through the subject, so she would only leave us panicked. Phub Zam didn’t have that pace but she is a morning person, she could get up early and study, and she won’t leave our room once she came :P So after that note, they didn’t muddle much, but inside the room, Denka and I didn’t study sincerely, we laughed for keeping them out, and most of the time, we would be obediently following Kafley sir’s advice. It would be during the examination times, our talks would get sweeter, 100 times the charm otherwise. So we would lie on our beds and talk late into night. We would talk about family and end up with choked voices and heavy hearts.

When we visited Seday at Bajo and left a hole in her sofa :P

With all our flaws, we still make the best group for our little kitty parties. They are the friends who make me laugh till I  tear up. They  are the friends who made the 4 years study seem shorter. They are the friends who gave me memories to cherish on even long after college got over. It is a blessing to be surrounded with so many good people. I will never me able to write how much you guys mean to me. 
O’ What would I do without you guys?

Lhamo part-2

It was in 2004, when I first met Karma Lhamo as my classmate in Class IX at Drukgyel Higher Secondary School.

When we met for my 26th birthday and she gifted me
 'The Lord of The Rings'. Ever since I talk the Hobbit
language. She to be blamed :P

She and I were in the same morning class-cleaning group. And one morning I was late for the social work; I hurried to my class, fling my backpack to the nearest table and grabbed a broom ready to sweep. Reminiscing that day, it was as if the universe had conspired us to fight so he gave us a silent place, because although we had other classmates in the class-cleaning routine for that morning, only Karma Lhamo was sweeping the empty classroom floor, everyone else was out of sight. I hastily moved to one row and asked her if she had already swept that row (because my intention was to sweep it if she hadn’t already or to move to the other row otherwise). But with some murmur I didn’t hear of, she shot me a squinted eye look (migom), or at least I felt so. And just like that we were foes without even fighting a battle. The academic year had just begun, and thus we stopped talking to each other before we even got any closer.

She now denies about the migom, and maybe she is right, maybe she didn’t, maybe I reacted too quick (for that’s what I do best) because after knowing her for more than a decade now, I bet she wouldn’t just have given me that look for that one question. But that fateful day, O! I saw it! Haha.

Thus, we didn’t talk for that whole year and the next, until it was my birthday and I was giving sweets to everyone and I gave her too. Although the reason for not-talking had been long forgotten and forgiven, we had already crept into the awkward-to-talk-again phase, so after that we just smiled at each other.

I have only faint memories of those two years. It was after the 10^th results, that it all began. There was class division again for Class XI, more new students from more schools had come in for the admission. And fate had it; best friends in class X were separated again. Pema Lhamo and I were separated. Karma Lhamo and Shreejana Pradhan, Karma Lhamo’s then best friend were separated. Karma Lhamo and I were placed in Class XI/A, while Pema Lhamo was taken to XI/B. And although Pema Lhamo and my class were separated just by a wall, we went up to my new class teacher to ask for my transfer to the other class, he denied and so I was stuck in Section A.

Since Karma Lhamo and I were both sort of impaired without our best friends, we fast became the new best friends and soon inseparable. We shared our desks in the front row for the subsequent two years never fighting again. While I worked on Biology projects in the Math classes, she did Math assignments in the Biology classes. Math teacher frowned at me, Biology teacher frowned at her.

Pema Lhamo and we would meet during the intervals and lunch together and so the three of us were best friends now. 

My Lady Love

We had other friends too, those who were the sidekicks like in the movies :P Karma Lhamo’s parents ran a grocery shop, still does, and she would bring us petty gifts from the lucky-tip sachets. She would already show me the wrapped gifts and let me choose the prettiest, and then just so the others won’t feel discriminated, she would flaunt them in front of us all and let us choose. Because I already know, I would pick the prettiest and we would silently chuckle satisfied. ‘I still have the tinniest mug and the joker tray you gave me. They are at display at home.’ Well, that is the thing about me, I don’t forget who gave me what. I’m very careful and particular with my stuff. I don’t lose them until I decide to give them away, and at this I have to stop talking about myself :P

Karma Lhamo cannot still look up to my Acho, when she is at my place and he is there, she looks the other way, up, and down and any way just so to avoid meeting his eyes. I don’t think they ever talked to each other. She narrates her fear of him after he yelled at us. There was this lengo (mental) who walked around Drukgyel with patang tied up his waist. And there were rumors he lifted a girl’s kira when he got his chance. So one evening we were walking home after school and we passed him by, scared, we ran up my home shrieking and shutting the door loud behind. That’s when Acho must have got startled and shouted at us, and shouted loud for she still fears him. Haha. I don’t exactly remember this incident though. This is from what she later told me. As for Pema Lhamo, she makes good friends with him.

Karma Lhamo is the kind of people who says, “Drive safe. Let me know as soon as you get home”, “Text me when you get there”, and when I forget to let her know, she calls :) She is the kind everyone needs at least one in their lives.

She is the kind who cannot give "no" for an answer. She puts anything and anyone but herself before herself. ‘So the next time you sit for any interview and you are asked of your weaknesses, you should say, “saying no is”. Because it really is, unlike other people who use it to hide their other weaknesses, or just use it because it is common?’ But darling, you cannot make everyone happy; it’s not your job in the first place. Being so kind is truly a blessing and a curse. I just pray people appreciate this beautiful persona of yours and not take advantage of it and do anything that hurt you.

Frodo, Sam and Pippin, 
I would like to refer ourseleves as :P

Abridge, I have known Pema Lhamo for 16 years, been best friends for 13. I have known Karma Lhamo for 13 years, been best friends for 11. Doesn’t it feel fantastic to have your childhood best friends as your teen-age best friends and then the same best friends as your adulthood best friends? And if we live long to see, I promise we will be awesome grannies. Best friends till the end. Always and forever.

What I mean is, if I were Frodo and I were to choose Sam and Pippin to accompany me for my perilous task. I would choose the two of you. 

I love you guys to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and back. 

Lhamo part-1

My childhood friendship circle has pretty much revolved around Lhamos, Pema Lhamo, Karma Lhamo, Tashi Lhamo, Yangchen Lhamo, Karma Pema Lhamo … Some would tease, why don’t you change to Wangmo Lhamo too and you guys could make the Lhamo team? Moreover, I have this tendency of calling people out with their full names mostly when the syllable is less than 3 (although people claim it makes the relation sound distant, and I personally feel people are mad at me when they use my full name, because I use full names to address them when I’m mad?; albeit only implicit to those whom I refer using their first names only otherwise). Amid others, Pema Lhamo, Karma Lhamo and I have stuck around amidst time, place, college, work, new friends, or life so to say. And today, these Lhamos are the ones I can call my own. First, Pema Lhamo.

First, Pema Lhamo, the ultimate Weirdo! 

It was in 2000 when mom and dad got transferred to Drukgyel Lower Secondary School from Dotey (Now Doteng) Primary School, both in Paro. So, Drukgyel is in Jitsephu, and long before, there were rumors of Tsentops (people hailing from areas near Drukgyel dzong) being outrageous and perilous. My parents had instilled fear into me with stories of how the Drukgyel students during examination would pull out a dragger, thrust it on their table before the invigilators and write/copy their answers. So, I was a timid new school girl when I met Pema Lhamo in Class V/A. And one day, I don’t exactly remember what I had actually done, but in one of the classes, Pema Lhamo’s then best friend Chimi Om slipped a note on to me. The two of them had asked to meet them after school to resolve on that something. Oh boy! I believe that was ragging at junior school level. And although, my parents were both teachers of that very school, I couldn’t ask for help. We have never involved parents in our kid-matters anyway. So I wrote back a note most probably apologizing and the matter was settled. That day after school while I was walking home swiftly, scared they would follow; I noticed Pema Lhamo was just another timid little girl following her friend’s directives.

So, Pema Lhamo had her own best friend then, I had my own, but after a few months, we hung around together playing “fridge-fridge”. We would bring from home ingredients to make ezay (chillies, onions, tomatoes and cottage cheese) and hid them under dry bushes (during winters) and among the “I Love You” flowers (during its season). We called our hide-outs “our fridge”, and ran there during intervals. Also when we fought and were enemies (that’s how we used to refer each other as when we were not talking ) we would go to that spot, and the talking-two would make the not-talking-two say out each other’s name at the count of 3, and we would be friends again. But Pema Lhamo and I weren’t best friends yet. 

It was after Junior High, we were promoted to Class IX and to the High School across the fence. While Pema Lhamo and I had opted for Computer Science, Pema Lhamo’s then best friend, Chimi Om and my then best friend, Sonam Dema were placed in the Commerce Stream. Thus, Pema Lhamo and I were classmates, table mates and later best mates. Class IX, was when we had new students coming from other junior schools. That’s when Karma Lhamo made her entry. She came from Lango Lower Secondary School and she had her own best friend from her last school. Let me talk about her in “Lhamo part-2”. 

Sarang ha yo chinguya ❤

Ever since, Pema Lhamo and I have been best buddies. During school we would exchange gifts, eat our lunches together, stare at our then crushes together :P, and have sleepovers at my place. She had long black hair then, she was girly and shy. I had short hair (mostly boy-cut and mushroom-cut), baggy clothes, almost Tom. These characters we have now swapped it seems

I won’t say she is necessarily a geek, but she does sniff books and likes it too. I don’t think I would be too wrong if I say she finished reading the entire Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys sequel. When I read Enid Blyton, she read Sidney Sheldon and Danielle Steel. When I completed one book, it won’t be an exaggeration to say she would complete five. When the school librarian won’t allow her to take more than two books at a go, she would make almost the entire class to get books issued in our names for her.

But we were both Harry Potter hard cores. Oh how we would draw the bolt as Harry Potter’s on each other’s foreheads every day at school. And wear his badges, oh so religiously. I think we had more stickers of the Harry Potter series than all other stickers combined. Slam books, scrap books, song books, note books, text books, everything had Harry Potter stickers. We were so much into Harry Potter; we were freaks talking gibberish wizard languages, memorizing spells and using them on each other. Our entire high schooling days began and ended with him. But once college happened, her loyalty shook and now she is an EXO freak. ‘I should have known you were a traitor when you started liking that Malfoy boy over Harry. Traitor!’

The many dishes she would prepare for me 

After High School, we went to different colleges, we didn’t meet as often as before but we never stopped being best friends. I believe we got even closer after graduation and as we started staying over at each other’s place. ‘I feel like I have never known you better before. Were you always this weird? Because until you came up to live with me, you looked pretty normal to me :P’. So last year, when she took the 3 month Japanese Language classes, we lived together and I believe learned about each other like never before. Every day she would cook varieties of dishes for me, saying she is experimenting on me. More than the dishes, it was the sweet notes she packed with my lunch Tiffin that moved me. And when I got home from office, she would rattle on about Exo and K-pop and Super Junior and the list goes on. Every day she would force me to watch the Korean music videos and reality shows aspiring to make me one of her Exo-L fans, and every day she would miserably fail. But there is no giving up with this woman! I did learn a lot of their names and songs for her sake.

 After Karma Lhamo got back from Korea
and we decided to have a wine party.
Pema Lhamo can't handle drinks though 

One time when I had enough of Exo and Big Bang and GG and many many others, I was just throwing her a stale joke saying she must have dropped one of her brain’s screws. Later, she said she unconsciously began looking for it on the carpet. She admits she lives life upside down.  Talks in languages no one would get. ‘A freelancer of life’, she calls herself. But again, there is the charm, isn’t it? Living so carefree and innocently like a baby.

In between we frequently travelled in and out of Paro and Thimphu. One time when we were at her place, we decided for the hot stone bath. We were taking turns. And since the night hadn’t fallen yet, we let Amo and Jumo (granny in Parob kha) take the dip first. When it was our turn, I was walking up to the place with my changes, and Pema Lhamo was driving back Jumo home. The feeder road was a little uphill, and I don’t know how she did that (it needs more than mere talent), the next moment she had her apa’s car literally across the width of the road (like you see in some “How did the car get there?” facebook pictures). Literally! There was a panicking granny inside. And panicking amo and I outside. And Amo was half-naked, right out of the Waa (wooden tub). Haha. When uncle came for the rescue, he first shooed away Amo to get some clothes on. And gave Pema Lhamo the scolding she deserved. And so the kid won’t even talk to her dad for days.

And then we got totally wasted!

My Pema Lhamo is also an extremist. For many years, it was her passion to dye her hair literally every now and then. Until a few months ago when Amo dyed it black once and for all. Bravo Amo! Haha 

♩ ♪ My forever singing partners ♫ ♬
Behold! Im planning to get a Karaoke set this August,
if my budget permits.

While she left for Paro after those 3 months, she left me some 12 paged letter hidden below the pillow. I got that letter hours after she left, and when I did, my psychopath drama queen had me crying. In the letter, she had conveyed her gratefulness for coping up with her and confessions of how she loves me more than any Xiumin or Chanyoel or Suho (Exo guys). ‘Let me tell you, how much ever weird you are, I love every bit of you. There is no other like you. You are my “precious”, just as the Elven ring is to Gollum.’ 

‘And today I read your letter again and without knowing I was crying. I miss you.’

Having said that, she is real stern too. She scolds me. (I think we take turns in scolding each other :P) About wearing contact lens, and not eating well. She be like my granny, no matter how much I eat and how fat I get, she would always say I have become skinny and I need to eat well. She would dislike a person I dislike, with me, even when she has nothing to do with him/her. How she would curse all those douche bags that ever hurt me. ‘I feel blessed to be loved so much. But I am also really scared of you. Almost as sacred as I am of Ashim. But maybe that’s the respect I have for you (feel honored please!). So if I date, you will be the second last person to know about it. The last person being Ashim ’

When Dubsmash was a thing and Karma Lhamo was in Korea. We chose to wish her a happy birthday like this. We made a lot of other videos, only this one is okay to be publicized. LOL 

We don’t talk to each other every other day but when we do, we do for hours straight, until our jaws hurt of talking, hand hurt of holding the phone, and the line cuts off because our balance is over. And then she would call from her Amo’s phone. Time and again you have proved true to how we don’t need many friends, all we need is a few but true ones. 

Sarang hae yo, aeshitayru chinguya

P.S: The rumors about Tsentops or Parobs in general being perilous are so untrue. I have lived in Paro for the last two decades, and I have never been treated so well. They are rather the most friendly, reliable and supportive people I have ever come across. Paro is my second home, third home now since I live at Thimphu mostly. 

Do you think of me?

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
Every night till I fall asleep and see you in my dreams. 

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
Every morning till I push myself out of the bed still half in sleep. 

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
Every time I drink coffee and I want to drink it with you.

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
Every time I listen to a good song and I want to reach out those lyrics to you.

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
Every time I write something hoping you will read and know it's for you.

Do you think of me? 
Because I think of you. 
And build dreams that will never come true for it's chaos in my head. 

Do you think of me? 
The way I think of you. And us?

Ps: No, I'm not in love, only my adrenaline rush for it's 3:51 AM and I haven't slept a blink? And too much of caffeine in my system, I'm becoming a poet that I'm not :P

Dear Apa

Dear Apa

I know I’m your favorite and will always be. Thank you for always favoritize-ing me over my older siblings :P You did a good job there! See today I write this piece on you, for you, with love.

When I was little, I think more than my older siblings you teased me with how I was picked from the trash and raised as your daughter. (My Apa would openly challenge me as to how he can make me cry in a minute without touching. I would act bold only to find myself wailing the next minute. Those were mean Apa!).

But after that phase, you and I have always been partners. We always will be. You have always had my back and I had yours. (Before college when we lived together at Paro, Apa and I would always do things together, we would go on walks together (My Apa has such a smart personality, the Armies at Drukgyel would take him for an Army Officer and would salute him and Apa won't be surprised). We would play badminton on the road at dusk, bask in the sun and eat walnuts during winters. He build me a snowman that winter I was upset about my Class XII result.

Oh! How I miss those good old days.

When Mommy would watch her Hindi soaps, Apa would makes faces at me (he still does). And we would laugh. Mom would suspect foul play and get mad at us). When mommy won’t talk to me after I spoiled my papers, you did :) Thank you. 

Thank you Apa for being my biggest support. (My apa has always been supportive in what I did, what I wore or with any decision I made. When I was in College, I had once dyed my hair yellow and gone home during the vacation. Next few days my sister persuaded me into dying my hair red instead since I wasn’t taking black for an option. While she did that, she was seeking Apa’s support, “Apa, Tell Chunku, yellow hair gives a cheesy look”. Apa was like, “Yellow looks fine on her. Maybe that’s the trend these days”. I winked, “It is!” And we hi-5ed with our gesture in mid-air. 
Apa and I would always wish each other a good night's sleep before going to bed. He would announce loudly, "Now this old man will..." And i would complete the idiom for him shouting equally loud , "...kick the hay". That’s how partners work. Apa for I and I for Apa).

Thank you Apa for beating up just acho when we had a fight, unlike mommy (she would say if we were to weigh it on a scale, I would weigh the same naughtiness as acho). Apa, you hit me once remember? With that leather belt of yours when I won't get up to study during my exams. I climbed on the sofa and a friend who lived in the next apartment saw me through the window. She would tell that in school. That was embarrassing, Apa -_-

Thank you Apa for doing so much for our education. (Apa would always prioritize studies, he would always say anything for education, anything for books. So at times I would make him buy me Archie Comics and Tinkles in the name of books :P)   

(Apa always wanted a home-posting for he wanted to build his own house (mom made it home:)) and had old parents to look after, but he pushed it further just so that I could complete my studies in a good school while living as a day-scholar). You have always put your children before your dreams. Thank you.

It feels like yesterday when I used to sit down on the floor with my pencil and my book and you would lie on the bed and narrate me answers for my assignment questions. Thank you for helping me out with my assignments and Morning speeches. You know some people recognize me for the speeches I used to give at school. You have always prepared great speeches for me. You trained me to be confident and taught me where and how to use appropriate intonations. How i used to enjoy watching you read. (I was in Class III, when I first volunteered to give the morning assembly speech. Apa would train me. We would both read out loud together everywhere and anywhere. Even in the kitchen when Apa cooked while sneezing (because of the amount of masalas he burns when he cooks), I would read out loud and he would listen, oh! so enthusiastically. I would read more). And you are a great cook, Apa. Your fish cuisine is the very reason I could never fully turn vegetarian.

Thank you Apa for never drinking at the bar. (My Apa buys bottled whiskey and drinks at home. When those drinks run short, he would (or make us) run down the bar with a tea mug and a lid, buy a few pegs, bring home, transfer it to a whiskey glass and drink at home). Looking back I cannot just help admiring you for all those thoughtful deeds, it is in fact so much of an honor to have a father like you.

Thank you Apa for complimenting and appreciating me. Your compliments have encouraged me to strive harder for I knew they were genuine when it came from you. (Apa used to compliment how my eyes were big and beautiful and that I resembled the Bollywood Kajol :P) There was a time when maybe I was in my puberty so I had grown a little stylish, I wanted to use make up and make myself appear whiter (You are to be blamed for my dark skin though). You noticed it first. I still remember how you told Mommy I was now growing up, I can still blush to this.

Thank you Apa for being so cool. Thank you for being the dignified man who doesn’t bargain with the Jaigoan vendors. Thank you for not being the stereotype you were raised in. That gives me a perfect living example so to why you cannot and should not generalize people with their religion, region, caste, family background, appearance and the many adjectives people use to label other people.

Thank you Apa for being the joy and laughter of our family, for being so cooperative with my ideas and for always wearing what I choose for you. Remember Apa? You dressing me ulta kira when I was in class I? I vividly remember how I realized after reaching school, the opening of my pocket was on the left side. But i forgive you for that, at least you tried. 

The times I had nightmares and I would run to your room in the middle of the night, you won't scold, you would just let me sleep with you and mom. Sorry for not leaving even a tiny bit of privacy for you and mom.

In school, when we were to write essays on “my Idol person” I would always choose to write on you because didi already had articles on you being her idol. But now I don’t need to see those articles to write why you are such an inspiration and how much I idolized you dear Apa. Didi once wrote in one of her articles, how you would make up excuses saying the shop was closed when you forgot to bring us sweets, but I don’t remember them, I only remember the part where I would get you vegetable baskets and in turn make you get me my favorite packet of chips. But I usually did accompany you to town, didn’t I? When Mommy was busy and Didi lazy and Acho just won’t go, I would go with you.

But mostly, thank you Apa for loving Mommy the way you do. Thank you for being faithful and loyal to her. Thank you for meeting her, marrying her, and finally having us, hybrids! (I would hear from others what my parents were famous for. They were famous for not fighting even once in their entire married life! No, not even a single quarrel I can recall of. Of course there would be little bit of misunderstandings here and there, little bit of getting mad at each other, grumpy faces and murmurs. But I don’t have a single memory of my dad raising his voice to my mom or my mom to my dad. They have always worked things out together mutually. I haven’t seen a more compatible partner than the two of them although they come from varied family backgrounds). I cannot express how much I appreciate the love you guys have for each other. Thank you for a beautiful childhood.

And finally Thank you for raising the standards of a man so high, now I cannot find myself a husband? :P

No matter how many thank you(s) I say, I know I will always run short. I just cannot thank you enough I know. Today I just want you to know how much of a great father you are and have always been. I want you to know how much you mean to me and our family. How much of an inspiration you are to me. How lucky I am to be born as your daughter (I would still consider myself lucky even if I were found in that trash and raised by you and Mommy). I want you to know how much pride I hold in being your daughter. I love you immensely Apa. Happy father’s day!

Please take care of your health, Apa. Easy on your drinks and liver old man. 

PS: Apa also used to be my barber and oh the way he chopped off my bangs, I can only remember how horrible I looked. 
PPS: Apa used to fart and fart loud (intentionally most times) and apologise to me (Mind you! just to me even when there were other family members who had heard the fart and felt equally disgusted). He used to go, "Sorry la Chunku, loud farts don't stink though". I was special you see? :)
PPPS: I can go on and on writing about how much of an amazing father you are. I love you, Apa!