My goofball

Years ago when she read my articles on my Lhamos, she insisted I write one on her too! I had told her then that she has to get separated from me for it because of the sadist writer that I am. That was a joke all right, but maybe I shouldn’t have said it, maybe I jinxed it. So, from living two blocks apart from where she could make out if I were home and sleeping in or up in the morning when I had my curtains drawn open, today, we live continents, oceans and time zones apart. But then again, I should have been better prepared than this. Her leaving was inevitable and only a matter of time, if not to further her studies, then to learn Sanskrit maybe. The latter was more probable and was proclaimed like half a year earlier. Just the odds of it had had me silently crying myself to sleep every night which left me touchy for weeks and months. When she was actually leaving, my heart felt like it would burst, I don’t remember the last it hurt so bad. For days afterwards, I would well up at any sympathy shown on me. Told you, I had gotten touchy.

Trying to swim in Kathmandu, Nepal

We had never talked to each other when we

One of our very first to the later
 whooping albums of pictures together

were college mates for 3 years. She was a year senior to me and I only remember seeing her sometimes on the hostel staircases or going to the mess with a friend. Her only account of seeing me was I in short denim shorts running here and there. Years later when I was already working, she joined my office as a new recruit, yes, later than me because of the many prejudices towards civil engineers over electrical engineers during our time, occupied the cubicle right next to me and ever since we never stopped talking. She would tell me unfathomably bizarre stuff to which I would dramatically cringe and close my ears with my fingers. Then, she would guffaw, ask me to stop being dramatic, and tell me more. Clearly, she enjoyed perplexing me. She would tell me I was too naïve and yet, she would seek my advice on imperative matters. I had never felt this comfortable and open whilst feeling assured and understood, so we talked and we talked. We confided in each other everything about everything without feeling judged, shared our dreams and future plans, and entrusted our secrets. And as keepers of secrets, we were nothing short of Olympic class. 

During a flower exhibition

One of those predawns when we legit
owned the roads.

Without realizing when and how we grew inseparable. We saw each other every day sans a few weekends and still not get tired of each other. And as a matter of fact, we are very straight. Both of us. Haha. Every working day 9:30-5 we were right next to each other, and then worked out together after office and sometimes extended the evenings to late-night rides. We rode to the BBS tower with drinks and snacks to watch the super moon, sometimes to be sad, sometimes to vent out, and other times just to chit chat because obviously, we didn’t see enough of each other during the day? :P During the weekends, we hiked, mostly to religious sites. The following weekend we went out partying into dawn, because, we versatile like that, baby! 

When we did the Druk Path trek

When we ate out at restaurants, I would pick the food and drinks with the fanciest names for the thrill of trying anything new. She would imitate my orders and not like them at all, or in her very own words, made her pukish, when they were served. Much later did she comprehend that hot lemon water with honey was her sober go-to drink. Although, in her last-minute preparations to leave to the US, she asked me if she should order café mocha or latte in the cafes over there. She asked which one I thought she would prefer. My silly old friend! Oh, how I miss you. 

Samples eating out

She is the kind of person who would hoot with laughter when a friend (not me) stumbles and falls down in public, before helping them up; or when a friend’s feet stink (not mine) when they take off their shoes to try on new ones at the shoe store. In her defence, she would laugh at herself too, perhaps, even louder. My goofiest friend with the humblest heart. Oh, what would I not give to see you again rehearse your lines time and over before going to the GM’s Chamber. 

Date night, late night

While I taught her which coffee is which, she taught me to have a broader mindset. I taught her to better appreciate the interlocking C’s of Chanel, today, she teaches me American slangs. 

This way, we were so different than each other, yet, complemented each other effortlessly. I think it was our vibes that resonated with each other, for one, both of us didn’t act our age. I must have reciprocated her friendship, because she would say I meant a lot to her too and as a proof would retrieve my birthday from her memory and declare, “See, I remember your birthday when I couldn’t remember my boyfriends’”.

A picture with HH

We travelled places together when we could afford, we were touristing in Kathmandu this time, three years ago. The following year, accompanied by my sister, we explored some of the Northwestern States of India. It was because of her connections, past life and present, we received gracious hospitality throughout our expedition. The highlight of the trip was the visit to Dharamshala and the sight of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, an opportunity for which I shall remain eternally blessed and grateful. 

With my soul sisters at the Glass Palace in Amber fort, Jaipur

To all the experiences of true friendship, of love and joy, of trust, of presence and acceptance, of feelings and thoughts, and for kindness and resolute support, I’m colossally grateful to you, my darling Peks. Had it not been with you, none of the shared feelings and experiences would have been the same. Thanks for being all the things that make you, you, my lovely friend. I miss you every day and look forward to being together with you again. Thitherto, you’ll always have a friend in me.

The last camping together to Bumdra

On life

All these time, all these years, all these hard works, all these accomplishments, all these riches, all these relationships, and it’s only going to take a jiffy to leave. Forever.

Death is the ultimate leveler, they say. They say it lays its icy hands on kings and on peasants all the same. Leveler, all right. But how is it fair when it perishes all young and old, rich and poor, sick and healthy, all the same? Shouldn’t the young be given enough time to grow old? Poor to get rich? Sick to get healthy?

Then, why did she have to leave so soon? Wasn’t she only 15? Wasn’t she supposed to lady up, go to college, find a job, marry and have a happily ever after? Wasn’t that what fairy tales taught her? She did believe in fairies, so then why didn’t they come to her rescue?

Why did he have to die, oh so sudden? Wasn’t he always that careful sober driver? He was his mother’s only hope in her old age, now what will happen of her?

How astonishing it happened to her! Wasn’t she so gaily crossing the street just yesterday?

Why him? Wasn’t he the kindest I know? Doesn’t he deserve some more time to see his children grow into beautiful humans he created?

We had waffle over breakfast just last summer and now you are no more? How am I to believe this?

Why him?

Why her?

For the first time I saw someone die right in front of my eyes. He turned cold and blue and stared helplessly. I have always thought I won’t be able to handle such sight, but it wasn’t even scary when it happened, only I-wish-I-could-help-ry.

So, apparently, that’s what’s going to happen to all of us, right? One day we are all going to run short of breathe and turn blue (Pity, the blacks wouldn’t won’t even get this chance, sorry bad racist joke.) and stare. Lucky be those who would get to see their loved ones before they shut their eyes never to open again. 

I wonder what will cross my mind when it’s my last. Will I think of the many pending drawings to approve? Or will I think of the completed ones? Or of the news clothes I didn't get to wear? And the places I wanted to visit? Or will these not make sense at all? Will I be already curious to see who cries when I die? Brr.. Sends chills down my bones.

I pray every one of us have lived a fulfilling life before time comes to us. Lets be kind. Lets cherish friendships. Lets cherish relationships. Because what are we once we are not, only but faded memories. And to all the departed souls, I pray you find peace. Amen.

And if this doesn’t work for you (doesn’t work for me, nay), before time stops before you, go to Kamar-Taj, see the Ancient one, be a sorcerer, find the eye of Agamotto, create a time loop, live there. Repeat.

Renouncing Superstitious Believes, Part- 1

A few mornings ago, as I was getting dressed up for work, my sister cried, “You have worn your kira inside-out”. Well, instead of being thankful to her for saving me the embarrassments had I gone office that way, my first instinct was to whine, “Why did you have to tell me? I would have seen it anyway, once I had my glasses on!” (I did that pretty much Joey Tribbiani style, only she didn't get it? :P)

I reacted thus, considering the superstitious belief of how if we wear a cloth inside-out and we see it first ourselves, it will bring us good luck. While if someone else sees it before us, bad luck.

I immediately regretted, however didn’t apologise, because as she said, maybe I have grown up. So grown up to give her any explanation to my reaction, which I know I owed her, fair and square. Grown up, to not be able to swallow that ego, or pride or whatever that was that led me respond that way, and couldn’t pull that pinkie out to make peace. Or grown up, just because she said so and that made me furious? Well, anyway, we had a bad start to our day. But the only bad thing that happened that day or the next or the next was that fight I had with my sister which led to a whole grumpy situation for the next few days. I could have avoided all these bad had I not reacted in haste like a nuclear missile.

First resolution for the new year: renouncing superstitious believes. May the force be with me 😉

Let’s Grammar! Or YOLO who cares?

Lately, I’m beginning to realize the more I write, the more skeptical I am about my writings. “About” doesn’t sound right, there. Shouldn’t I be using a “with” instead? “…the more skeptical I am with my writings?” Or “of” fits in there better. “...the more skeptical I am of my writings.”

Wait. Shouldn’t the full stop be placed after the closing inverted comma? Or not? And shouldn’t I have used sceptical with a ‘C’ instead?

Blimey me! I cannot write one sentence without second, third or fourth doubting myself!

I have always followed my instincts when it came to my grammar. I have gone with what feels right to my tongue should feel right to your ears. Even during the School English-I examinations, especially with the “Choose the correct word” questions, I would read aloud the sentences in my head and figure out which word fits right in there, which ever felt comfortable while speaking would be my answer. Call it sheer luck, I used to score pretty well then :). Likewise, a lot of stuff I knew as a student, now are long forgotten. Apparently it’s because the technologies have overwhelmed our brains, our memory powers? A few days ago, my mom actually blurted out that I was getting dumb when I couldn’t remember a recent incident. I can’t remember what that was now! Mom is right, what will I be when I’m her age? Oh good god! Save me! I feel sad. I really do.

And before I forget, yes technologies have really engulfed our brains. It has become this necessary devil we can’t thrive without. Our smart phone autocorrects our wrong spellings, even suggests us better words; working on a MS Word keeps track of our spellings and grammar, and well the google engine handles anything and everything else. Yes, it does save us many embarrassments, only leaves our brains idle, slothful. And boy slothfulness is speedy in adaptation. It has already become a habit before you know it (Look who is advising! :D)

So, here are a few, just a few common cases of grammar so we know better to write something without getting autocorrected for it hurts one’s pride to be corrected by some machine every now and then? :P And well, I could have not done this article and instead googled stuff as and when required. But again, I wanna remember some stuff on my own, for my own good and oh what better way than through writing.

1.     First: The old and the mostly confused Effect and Affect.

I have always remembered “effect” as the consequence of/to something good, something positive, keeping in mind the only exception for “side effect”. And related “affect” to something bad. This comes handy most of the time but not always.

However the actual distinction is as below:

Affect is a verb, it is an action word that means to change or influence something. Effect is usually a noun, it is an outcome or consequence of something. Effect, when used as a verb, means to bring something about as a result. (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/grammar)

The below memes should help you understand and remember better.

This one looks even better :D

2.     Et Al. vs. Etc.

Etc. is short for “et cetera,” which means “and the rest”, and refers to a list of things.

Et al. means "and the others" and refers to a list of people. It’s an abbreviation for either et alii, et aliae or et alia when referring to masculine, feminine or gender neutral groups respectively. But some argue Et al. also means "other from the same group" or "others forming some group" and doesn’t always necessarily refer to just people. But apart from its usage in referring to academic papers by more than two authors, I don't believe I have ever seen it used in any other way. (http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/33304/et-cetera-vs-et-al) 

3.      Its and it’s: Its is short for “it is” or “it has”. It’s is the other meaning.

4.    Stuff or stuffs: stuffs is not the plural of stuff. Stuff is usually uncountable, so you do not use a plural. But stuffs when used as a verb is a valid word too. E.g.: He stuffs his food in his mouth like a manic.

Likewise hair/hairs, grain/grains, water/waters, star/stars? But wait! The stars in the night sky although uncountable, is still stars with an S! Oh boy, this is getting confusing.

5.   Further, the numerous British and American English spelling differences for words which mean the same and are also pronounced the same. Dreamed/ dreamt, learned/ learnt, spelled/ spelt, license/ licence, sceptical/ skeptical, enquire/ inquire. 

      Don’t confuse yourself with build and built, send and sent!

6.  Oxford comma: The Oxford (or serial) comma is the final comma in a list of things. It is used before “and” or “or” in a sentence. Whether or not you use the Oxford comma is generally up to you. However, omitting it can sometimes cause some strange misunderstandings.

Below is an apt example from (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/what-is-the-oxford-comma-and-why-do-people-care-so-much-about-it/):

I love my parents, Lady Gaga and Humpty Dumpty.

Without the Oxford comma, the sentence above could be interpreted as stating that you love your parents, and your parents are Lady Gaga and Humpty Dumpty.

The meme explains it even better:

7.    Weren’t we taught at school ‘an’ should be followed by a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) and ‘a’ should be followed by a consonant? Unfortunately, this is not always true! When to use ‘an’ or ‘a’ depends on how the word is pronounced and not on how it is written.

8.   Using two negatives in a sentence is wrong or at least alters the meaning of the sentence to otherwise. With the Yo! Nigga trend hitting high, I see people use stuff like “I ain’t taking no shit”, where they actually mean “they ain’t taking any shit”, but “ain’t” and “no” are two negative words, and pretty much like in math where (-) + (-) would make a (+), this sentence would ultimately mean “I am taking shit”. And I don’t suppose anyone would mean to say that? But again, YOLO right? Who cares?

P.s : All Meme Courtesy: Google image? (I need to learn better referencing!)

Dear sister, just to say I love you

‘You can choose first’, my sister would say.

My sister in Busan, South Korea. 

‘You can go first.’

‘Okay, you can have them.’

‘You can wear this one, I will wear something else.’

‘Chocolates in the first pocket of my bag, some colleagues brought it when they got back from some training.’

‘Don't worry, I will go with you.’

‘I will wait for you, come when you are done.’

‘I don’t worry about you, I know you are smart, you are capable of doing anything.’

‘We have very high expectations from you, don't let us down.’

‘You can do it, you are the brightest, little one.’

‘You are an amazing writer. Of all the writers, I like your writings the best, and it’s not because you are my sister.’ 

‘You are our family’s asset, our little princess, I would give you all I can, you deserve all the luxury in the world.’

'The world is mean at times, but everything falls back to its place once the Tsunami is over. I have been there, and I promise you there is a beautiful valley behind this perilous mountain, there is a beautiful sky after every rain.’

‘You shouldn’t let the bad of other people affect you. They bring in so much negative energies, ignore them. Ignore them; they aren’t even worth your attention. Ignore them; it feels good.’

‘I don’t want you to go through what I have been through.’

‘I hate him for putting you through this, let’s call him an asshole.’

‘More chocolates, I didn’t eat, I brought them for you since you like them more than I do.’

‘You are my best friend.’

‘You shouldn’t talk bad about others like that. What did mommy tell us about ten other people talking about us at our back when we talk of one?’

‘Watch what you speak, I know you don’t mean to but you do sound rude.’

‘Haven’t I always listened to you? Today listen to me and go Dzongkha movie watching with me?’

‘I wish I could fit you into my trolley and take you with me.’

‘You are a brave girl, I know you will be just fine without me. Stay well; I will be back before you even know it.’

‘I bought this, it’s the latest trend in here. I got one for you too.’

‘I bought this for myself, do you want one too?’

‘I bought this, do you like it? I would have bought for you too but it’s very expensive, I will use it while I am here and you can have it when I get there, okay?’

‘I saw so many cute stuff, I wanted to get them all for you.’

‘All the beautiful places I visit, how I dearly wish you could see them too.’

‘I play your Smule videos when I miss you, you sing so well.’

‘I wish you were here.’

‘I really thought of saving some sum this time, but I finished them all already.’

A feminine that she is, she won't choose batman :)

‘Blessed’ would only half describe what I am to have my sister as my sister. My sister has always put me before herself. My wants always before hers. My desires before hers. My choices before hers. She has made uncountable sacrifices just so I get what I want, just so my wishes are fulfilled, and just so I am happy. She has always supported me in what I did, always appreciated my works and encouraged me to do better, showered me with the best advices, and has always protected me. She has always been more than a sister to me. She has pampered me so much, I am spoilt. Now, I think when she has a baby of her own, I will be the jealous older sibling.

She has been places. A lot of places :)

 The things she has done for me, no one ever has, no one ever will. She has bought me things she won’t buy for herself. Whenever she travels, which she does a lot, she would get me the maximum gifts, she has always spent the most on me, and I pray this trend never ceases :P  
She has waited for me in her car, outside my office for hours every single day ever since I started working. In the chilly winters and when it would get dark by 5, and her office would get over by 4 but mine won't, she would still wait. 
During my first year into job, I was asked to go to various offices, offices I wouldn’t just reach on bare foot. Land commission offices to Thromdue offices, to submit letters, to submit A3 print-out bulky drawings (well, thinking about it, it’s not even my job? But it’s all right, I got dignity of labour). What is sad is, no one even told this just-into-job girl that we get office vehicles for official works. So my sister (who herself would be so caught up in her office work) would pity me and take out time to drop me to all those offices and back. Later I learned, if I don’t speak up, no one’s gonna hear me, if I don’t ask help, I ain’t getting any, but I still don’t get what it takes for some people to be a little kinder, to be a little soft spoken?  

The  Three Generation Adda Rachu Team

 (that's why we were least concerned with 

the compulsory adda rachu thing :P) 

My sister would be as wise as 90, when it comes to giving advises. It is as if she has been through everything, and with experience delivers the best advises. She knows how to completely calm a person. She would preach almost like Master Shifu, something close to ‘Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace’, but ironically she herself has a highly reactive temper. Or rather an overly sensitive heart and nippy tear glands :P

My sister has always been my finest mentor. She taught me everything from shaving my legs to using make ups, from Zendori to Dr. Jart+, from ponds to oriental princess to innisfree to etude house to Baba Ram Dev’s patanjali? LOL. 

Okay we do look alike (only when you are pretty :P)

She taught me how to drive. This she started in 2012 and succeeded in 2016. Thank god  for her Masters, I finally got a driving licence. It’s not that I am or was a slow learner. I learned pretty much in a day. The thing is both of us were scaredy cats, so I took a lot of time getting confident on the highway, and more getting my lazy ass out there. My first driving practice on the highway ended up in chaos. That morning we hit the road at around 6:30 (6:30 AM is quite a big deal for both of us), and as I started driving, she started panicking, ‘No..no..no..not like that and no no no not like this and..’. So after driving some stretch, I didn’t want to drive. I was pissed at her and myself more. But she was more pissed for I think, not utilizing her otherwise sleeping hours well. She asked me to drive us back home since we have already started, but I didn’t. I got stiff and she thought I WOULDN’T but I just COULDN’T drive anymore. And in the middle of the highway, somewhere near Changbangdu, she ringed up mommy and cried saying I won’t listen when she was only teaching me. Mommy attained to make her drive us back, after swearing never to teach me again. I, then called up mommy and cried. Didi and I didn’t talk, we got dressed for office and I hurried to get out of home before her to catch a cab. I was walking when she after-ed me and stopped her car and said “Hop in, we won't talk, I will just drop you”. That was on Monday. Thursday, she asked me if I wanna go driving practice again :)

Apart from this one time, after every fight, it always has to be me to force my little finger to join with hers to make 'Milee' (as in peace). Other times, we would text each other our apologies and justifications and never to repeat again promises. We are as much as lovers, when we have pretty fat bank account balances, we like to surprise each other with not-for-any-occasion gifts, or make-up gifts after fights, or “I bought this, but you can use it as well” gifts. 

'Everything that I am and I have today, as much as I owe Apa and Mommy, I owe them to you. Thank you. For everything.’

Despite her tiny physique, she is one hell of an independent lady, she can handle anything on her own. She is wise and farsighted, focused and hardworking, so kind and giving. She is everything I would want to become. She has a heart of gold. I am not saying this because she is my sister, it's just a fact I cannot deny. She would be there sympathizing and pitying everyone. She helps as much people as she can. Every year she buys school dresses for at least five underprivileged school students. I know she would have done more if only she could. As her shadow befell, I also contribute a little :)

Somewhere in Switzerland in 2014.

She buys and reads a lot of books, and her writings has always been of high calibre. While preparing for my class XI/ XII English examinations, I would read her class IX/ X English exam answer sheets. She blogs at www.letsgrowtogether86.blogspot.com. She also writes her diary every day without failure. She is very good with numbers, she can easily remember phone numbers and birthdays. Also she is very calculative, she keeps track of how she spends every penny, but spends them anyway :P When she travels, so she won’t forget, she lists down people for whom she has to buy gifts. And its pages and pages of names.

She is a fine joker too. When she was at the Sherubtse College, she used to wear meto kiras of various designs and multi-colored dresses. Haha. Now all she wears is black or something close to black. But as if jinxed, except for the meto kiras, I liked whatever she wore, including the rainbow striped sweater, which she later gave me because I said I liked it, but I didn’t wear. I think I had some sense of fashion then? :P

Some happy faces there :)

She is someone who won’t read someone else’s personal diary even if it's open right in front of her eyes no matter how appealing. Someone we can trust our unlocked phones with. Someone who respects other’s privacy and someone who gives but also needs a hell lot of space. She talks less, even when it's with family, and hates repeating herself over again. For instance, she is narrating an incident, she gives details to just one or two of us, say to mommy and I, and to others her summarized versions. So, mostly I end up repeating her whole story to every other person including mommy, because Mommy won’t get it and she won’t ask didi to repeat. Mommy is scared of her. Or wait. A lot of people are scared of her, elders included. Apa (read about him on Dear Apa) and Mommy (I have so much to write about you I cannot start) would scold me, but not her. Angay would make me work, but not her. Little cousins would talk back to me, but cry when I bring up her name. Even Acho seldom talks back to her. Peculiar for someone who won’t even raise her voice to ask for food. She doesn’t do anything I am telling you. I don’t think she ever hit a kid even accidentally. I think she is just a very powerful lady :) BTW by scared I don’t mean we shiver at the sight of her, we just respect her, so much so we can’t and we don’t take advantage of her goodness. 

I miss you much

Besides, we don’t wanna test her tolerance level :) But there are people. Many people take advantage of her kindness. Just because she would give, they ask too much. Many take advantage of her softness, just because she won’t talk back, and people would say whatever they want, not considering how much it would hurt her? She tolerates them all, chews those hurtful words, forgives them and tries real hard to see the good in them, again and again and again just for the sake of keeping the relationship, until she has really had enough, until she has chewed so much her teeth have fallen, until her heart can hold no more, and then she ignores, completely ignores. People would come back to her, but she won't just hear them anymore. I have seen this, I have seen her do these to a few, and believe me there really are devils wearing human masks out there.

‘Now that I think of it, there is so much you have done for me. So much you have sacrificed for my sake. So much to be thankful for. You have always fulfilled all of my wishes, I am thinking you must be a shooting star. Dear sister, I just want you to know that I love you.’

Lhamo Part 3, 4 & 5

Destiny has my endless encounter and acquaintances with the Lhamos. So, today I bring to you, Denkar Lhamo, Seldon Lhamo and Phub Zam Lhamo. Kidding. They don’t have the Lhamo Second& third names. But I would like to refer them as Lhamos for a Malaysian lady once told me how Bhutanese refer beauties as Lhamos. I being an aboriginal Bhutanese didn’t know this until a foreigner? Or did someone bluff her hard? Like someone did about Mebar Tsho once being Guru Rimpochoe’s swimming pool? Anyway if that be true, half the Western and Northern Bhutanese women be the beauties.

Second Year. Webcam Selfie :P

2008: There were 10 of us from Drukgyel HSS going to the College of Science and Technology (CST), 4 were girls. Denkar, Seldon, Sonam Deki Tshering and I. Pema Lhamo (read about her in Lhamo Part-1) suggested I be roommates with Seday. ‘Sonam Deki and you are sort of “has to do what one thinks” kinds so won’t make compatible roommates’, she said. And she didn’t know much about Denka to comment. But once we reached college, we realized all our roommates were already decided by the college. And they had made it alphabetically, so Seday and Sonam Deki were the assigned roommates.  Lucky them, we cheered! I was allocated a room with Wangmo and Denka with Yangchen Dema. I don’t know how “D” and "Y" would come in line in any order but it’s in an engineering college, so maybe their English can be excused?

Everything about the college was queer and unpleasant, many new faces but fewer smiles. No one to be blamed though. Everything and everyone was new and just adjusting. Family had left, a weeping mommy behind in the car flooding with advises and blessings, now I was on my very own, it was heart-wrenching, already depressing. 

We unpacked our belongings in our own rooms. When I went to see Denka in her room, Yangchen Dema was reading something, curled up on her bed, skinny as a stick, dressed in a red t-shirt and a half-kira, and looking already like an oldie. She murmured something to herself and left the room. Back to my room, my roommate said she is shifting to another room with her school friend. I wasn’t aware we could do that, but as she said that I already got excited (Maan mey ladoo phuta! LOL), I wanted to stay with Denka. First night at the new college, we had noodles with ezay for dinner in Seday and Sonam Deki’s room, then Denka and I returned to ours. But I didn’t go to my room, I slept with Denka that night, I still thought I would fall off the bed if I slept towards the edge, she let me sleep in the corner :)

Next day, we had some hard time negotiating with Yangchen Dema about changing roommates, but when she had agreed, my roommate had changed her mind, she was staying. Bummer! Yangchen wasn’t moving out of her room under any cost (although we didn’t offer her any :P), so Denka and Wangmo had to move out. Hence, Denka and I became roomies.  Later, when Yangchen and I became good friends (I shall write about you some day) I learned there was ceiling leakage in her room and water would drip inside when it rained. I called it karma. Haha.

Ever since, Denka and I spend all of our time together. She was actually my school classmate for many years but we had hardly talked to each other until college. She has always been that shy and simple girl everyone would feel comfortable with. So humble, she doesn’t have an opinion of her own, she goes yes with our yes and no with our no. She never raises her wants before ours. She would always underestimate herself and leave everything for her fate to take care. It would suffocate me to be her. But that is Denka, she finds happiness in other’s happiness and her sacrifices. She is warm, she is family :)

Denka is warm. She is family :)

During college, Denka would be on her study table almost 24x7, so people visiting our room and seeing her so would go, Gosh! How much is she studying?, sounding almost jealous. But she would see no foul play in that, she is naive like that. And the truth is she would be doing everything on her study table, eating, sleeping, talking, and even watching movies.

When other girls changed their roommates almost every semester, I believe Denka and I were the only ones who stuck with one roommate for all the four years. ‘I know it’s all because of you Denka, I won’t have survived college if not for you’.

Seday and Denka 

Second semester, and Seday and Sonam Deki weren’t roommates anymore. Nothing had happened between them, some other girls wanted to switch rooms and I don’t know how but they were dragged in. Seday next shared her room with Pema Choki, and for the remaining years at college. Seday was one hell of a moody person then, this moment she would be white, the other moment she would go black and red and blue and violet and green and pink and yellow. But she is easy, or maybe we don’t give much damn to her opinions? :P She is someone we can play pranks on and force into doing things our way, but again, she wasn’t this easy all the time. When it was her heart-aching days at the college, period! We would literally drag her for the jam sessions and she still won’t go. She would be such a nag; she won’t go with us to the town, when it was too sunny or dusty. When is Phuentsholing not sunny or dusty? Now she works at PHPA, takes leave and travels all the dusty road and without complains, just to get here for our gatherings. People do change with maturity, she did so well :)

Seday doesn’t bad mouth about anyone, never did. She would either say the good about someone or mostly choose not to say anything at all. Also, she can be a Goblin working for the Gringotts bank when it comes to secret keeping. We can confide anything and everything in her and know it’s safe.

Seday soon grew closer to Phub Zam, her practical classes mate and introduced her to our group. We were now four. We secretly named ourselves ‘the F4’. I don’t remember if it was after the Korean Drama ‘Boys over flower’ or the ‘Fantastic Four’ film? Whichever, still cheesy :P 

F4 :P During our college trip to Kolkota

Phub Zam and her ex-pup

Phub Zam is mysterious, I can’t still tell anything about her for sure :P But she definitely is the shoulder we need to lean our sadness on. We can always be certain she would be there for us when we need a hand. She also is a very good console-r, she best knows what to say to make us feel better when we are down. I didn’t realize how much of a good person she is until we got really close, that’s when college was almost over. Many a times, I did give her my sharp tongues, but she always forgave me saying I’m just a kid. And no matter what, she always treated me well, she always stuck around. And today, I am grateful she did that. I know she has already forgiven me for I know how much of a big heart she has, (So big so as to give away her aquarium of gold fish and her Pomeranian puppy. ‘I really would have liked to pet them too, but you didn’t consider me. I will take these as your comeback for my being hard on you. We are equal now, okay?’). 

These are the people I shared the best days of my life with, the people with whom I experienced my so many first-times. I fought with a guy, well technically for Denka, because she should have been the one fighting, she was the one who threw water from our balcony and arose the guy’s anger :P. Seday now shares her office with him. Damn! LOL

2016, during our hike to Tango&Chari 

Some mornings, when Seday and Phub Zam would already start walking from the hostel to the class, Denka and I would be just waking up. But guess who would make it to the class earlier? Right! Denka and I :P Towards the evening, the four of us  would visit the Kharbandi Goenpa together, but the time the dainty two would take walking, Denka and I would run and come back and run and come back and still be ahead. Very slow and stylish walkers I should say :P.

The most dreaded time in college were the Semester-end Examination and the Class test times. Well whose wasn't? But while some classmates were super punctual and some didn’t care, we were the middlers. We, we don’t know what we did but as the class test dates approached and when others were ready to take them, we howled asking to postpone the tests, as if postponed tests meant cancelled tests. And one test we did postpone after requesting the lecturer who favouritised Phub Zam :P The test morning, because some mates created mountains out of mole hills, we had a class fight, which I would like to think my team won because the test got postponed anyway.

My room slip-ons, HA mistook for soft toys :P

One time, when Phub Zam got sick, we had a class test the next day. We were studying when she came to our room and went flat on the bed getting short of breathes. We rushed to get the College HA. When the HA entered, first thing he did was pick up my slip-ons and throw them on the bed, taking them for soft toys. He then examined the sick and referred her to the Phuentsholing General Hospital. Although she needed just one companion, Denka and I asked to go too, mostly because we didn’t want to take the class test the next day. It was the college rule that the sick and her companions would be excused from the test and would be allowed to sit for it at a later period. We smartly skipped the test :P We still laugh to this incident while Phub Zam swears on her brute friends.

One morning assembly, when the Semester-end Examination was nearing, our Dean for Academic Affairs, Om Kafley sir advised us to rather sleep during our free time for that would give our body and mind rest and we would be able to study better, and to stick “Do not Disturb” notes on our doors to avoid unwanted disturbances. I believe the whole college took that advice way too seriously, most of the time, even during day hours everyone in the hostel would be either sleeping or just waking up from their naps, rubbing their eyes to say how sincerely they are following Kafley sir’s advice. Also Denka and I pasted a note on our door, well I did but with Denka’s consent, especially to keep away the chatters of Seday and Phub Zam. Because both of them had different roommates, we didn’t go to their rooms much, they came to ours. Seday is a very fast studier (if there is a word like this :P), she would finish revising twice or thrice when Denka and I would be only half way through the subject, so she would only leave us panicked. Phub Zam didn’t have that pace but she is a morning person, she could get up early and study, and she won’t leave our room once she came :P So after that note, they didn’t muddle much, but inside the room, Denka and I didn’t study sincerely, we laughed for keeping them out, and most of the time, we would be obediently following Kafley sir’s advice. It would be during the examination times, our talks would get sweeter, 100 times the charm otherwise. So we would lie on our beds and talk late into night. We would talk about family and end up with choked voices and heavy hearts.

When we visited Seday at Bajo and left a hole in her sofa :P

With all our flaws, we still make the best group for our little kitty parties. They are the friends who make me laugh till I  tear up. They  are the friends who made the 4 years study seem shorter. They are the friends who gave me memories to cherish on even long after college got over. It is a blessing to be surrounded with so many good people. I will never me able to write how much you guys mean to me. 
O’ What would I do without you guys?